


reminiscence.

by seijohs



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Persona 3 Portable, Persona 3 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26042014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seijohs/pseuds/seijohs
Summary: ken remembers his past. (female route)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	reminiscence.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by ken’s social link with the female protagonist (who i refer to as hamuko) and some things from p4au!!!
> 
> persona 3 spoilers obviously, 3/5 :)

As school was released for the final time that month, Ken made his way against the rushing crowd who were attempting to leave Gekkoukan High in joy at the end of the school year and the short break they’d get before the next year started again. He internally frowned as he was stopped in the halls by some of his fellow soccer teammates or student council members wishing him farewell or demanding to stay in touch, as it was Ken’s last day of high school as a third year. Eventually, he was finally free from his bombarding friends and sighed thankfully as he continued his walk to where he intended to go. 

Ken opened the door to the roof, shutting his eyes as the sudden breeze outside lifted to his face. When the wind settled down, he made his way over to the seats he remembered standing by six years ago, holding the girl he had a silly young crush on, in tears as she slipped out of consciousness and all he could do is watch. 

He remembered that day vividly. How in the middle of an assembly he remembered his promise to Hamuko and rushed out of his elementary school building. How he quickly ran inside Gekkoukan past the teachers and up to the roof, instantly going to the side of the SEES leader. How he promised her he’d look after her from that moment forward. How the others tried their best to comfort each other, despite the tears building up in even the ice cold Mitsuru’s eyes.

Taking a seat on the bench he remembered Hamuko laying on in her final moments, the soccer captain reached into his bag to pull out a rose, resting it next to him with a sad smile. He came up to the roof the last two years of the fated March 5th, but he knew that this would be his last time to solemnly visit the place where he lost yet another loved one. So as he did the years before, he started talking aloud as if the girl he continued looked up to could hear him. 

"Hamuko-san.... It’s me, Ken, again. You must be pretty tired of hearing me." He laughed to himself dryly, gripping the stem of the rose in anxiousness. "I miss you a lot, Hamuko-san, but I’m sure you’re already aware of that. I’ve graduated this year though. I think you’d be pretty proud of me. I’m on the student council and I’m the captain of the soccer team. Koro-chan is still with me too, although he’s getting pretty old now. I’m worried when he’ll have to leave this world too. But anyways, he misses you a lot as well. He howls in sadness sometimes when he looks at the picture of everyone together that I have in my room."

The boy let out a sigh. Ken imagined that it was pretty sad to be talking to air right now, but he brushed it off as he continued talking. "I turn 18 this year.... I’m almost an adult. I remember all the silly promises I made to you for when I was older, like taking you to places, getting you presents, and becoming the perfect guy for you. I was a really naive kid back then. I regret saying all those embarrassing things sometimes, it must have been pretty awkward and uncomfortable for you, huh?"

"Although.... There’s still a part of me deep down that wonders if you’d like me now that I’m older. You said you’d wait for me, even if that was a lie to make me feel better back then, but those words stuck with me for so long I can’t help but still think from time to time about them. Like I said, I’m on the student council and I’m the captain of the soccer team, I’m even pretty popular too, but is that what you’d consider the perfect guy? Or—" He cut off himself, shaking his head. "Sorry, Hamuko-san. I didn’t mean to talk about that. I can assure you I’m over my silly crush on you, especially because of how weird it was to like someone so much older than me, but you really did have a big influence on me when I was younger. I even have the matching mug I got for us on Christmas that year, it’s the only thing I really use for my coffee now. And don’t worry, I still have the present you got me too. It’s like a good luck charm." Ken smiled, going through his bag to bring out what Hamuko had gotten him as if to assure her he was telling truth. 

"I’m going to be real with you, Hamuko-san. There have been times where I’ve felt so alone. Even with Koromaru around, I feel like I’m the only one around to deal with my burdens. Ever since I left the Shadow Operatives after the incident with P-1 Tournament in Inaba, I’ve been talking to our friends less and less and I feel like I’m the only one that has to deal with my problems even if it’s not true. I mean, I rant to Koromaru when I’m upset and sometimes I even confide in Junpei, but I still can’t shake the feeling of loneliness. I’ve lost people that have impacted me in huge ways like my mom and Shinjiro-san, both of which I saw die right in front of me. Both times I felt completely lost. I wanted nothing more than to leave this world as well, but both times I was motivated to live, although the first time it was just to get revenge... But then Sanada-san helped me come to my senses after the loss of Shinjiro-san and I was able to keep on living. I had a lot of fun in the dorm from that point forward and I can’t thank everyone enough for dealing with an annoying kid like me back then. I think I was able to truly be happy at some point while I was living with you all, something I didn’t feel much before. But then March 5th came around that year and I had to watch you pass in my arms. Just like my mom and Shinjiro-san...."

"I know I’m not the only one who’s lost someone before. Junpei had Chidori-san and Sanada-san had his parents and his sister, Mitsuru-san, Yukari-san, and you had your parents too, but after the loss of my mom I became a pretty messed up kid mentally. I mean, most of the time no elementary schooler could even consider seriously committing suicide unless it was a one time thing of intrusive thoughts. Shinjiro-san’s death just added to my case of mental struggling, especially after I had the guilt of knowing he died because of me, a dumb kid to claimed he wanted to kill him for revenge. After I lost you too, I struggled a lot with what I should even do next. Was it worth staying here now that I lost someone else I loved? I asked that question a lot to myself, especially as the dorm turned quiet as no one wanted to talk about what happened. Until I finally decided that leaving this world now would just be in vain for those who gave their life to protect me, like you and Shinjiro-san. So that’s why I’m here now, becoming an adult in a couple months...."

The more Ken ranted on top the Gekkoukan High roof to what he wished in all his heart was Hamuko, the more emotional he started getting. He felt tears welling up in his eyes which he let fall onto the ground, before he eventually sat down on the bench like before. The boy sat in silence with his tears slowly moving down his face, clutching the rose he had brought as a tribute to the SEES leader. After the tears started drying, he spoke up. 

"I-I’m sorry for breaking down like that, Hamuko-san... It’s been a long time since I’ve seriously cried. Last time was probably the 20th season finale of Featherman R." Ken joked, laughing dryly as he regained his composure. "It’s just... I really do miss you. I hope you know that, Hamuko-san."

The brunette boy sat in silence again, letting the wind blow into his face with a sad smile on his lips. He watched the trees sway with the breeze, the cherry blossoms fluttering around before eventually falling onto the concrete paths of the school that he soon realized was his final day at. He continued looking out past the roof, until he heard barking coming towards him and he immediately stood up and ran toward the edge of the rooftop. 

"Oh, Koro-chan!" Ken exclaimed, waving at the dog who sat down at the front of the school, wagging his tail. "I’ll be right there, Koromaru. Give me a second!"

After seeing his beloved dog and partner attempt to nod, he went back to the bench he sat on previously, as if to turn back to the girl he loved so long ago. 

"I think I should go, Hamuko-san. I forgot that there’s no clubs on graduation day, so the school should be closing pretty soon and I don’t really want to be locked in here." Ken chuckled, sorting through his bag before lifting it over his shoulder. "I enjoyed our talk though. Thank you for hearing me out...... Um, I miss you."

With one last smile, the boy kissed the top of the rose he had brought before setting it down on the bench and exiting both the roof and Gekkoukan High for the last time. As he pushed open the front door of the school, Koromaru came sprinting over before jumping onto his young owner and licked him. The boy laughed at his best friend’s actions before he set down Koromaru with a grin, and the two started their walk back home.

"I can’t believe there’s still no Phantom Thief updates on the Phansite!" Ken exclaimed during their walk, closing his phone with a sigh. He heard Koromaru bark a response before he shook his head. "I hope they’re not disbanding. I really looked up to them. I wonder if Hamuko-san would like them too."

At the mention of the old SEES leader, Koromaru tilted his head. He let out another bark, as if to ask if the reason Ken was up at the roof was to visit where everything happened. 

Ken, who had become pretty good at understanding his pawed friend over the past few years they were together, understood what Koromaru was attempting to ask pretty well. He smiled to himself, thinking back at the silly conversation he had to 'Hamuko' earlier. "Yeah, I tried to talk to her on the roof today. It’s already been like six years, can you believe that?" he asked aloud. "I talked to her about how I was doing and stuff like that. It was all nonsense in all honesty though. I bet she thinks I’m still immature as ever."

As Koromaru responded, trying to tell Ken that he wasn’t immature at all, the boy shook his head with a sad smile. He was so emotional and vulnerable on top the roof, he couldn’t help but still feel like a lonely young child. A feeling he always had hated. He could feel the tears swelling up in his eyes again as he continued to remember the loss of Hamuko, until he felt something. Almost like someone touching his shoulder, as if to assure him everything would be okay. 

Ken shook his head at himself for being silly when he turned around and saw that unsurprisingly, no one was there. As the duo continued their walk, there was still something in the back of Ken’s mind he couldn’t shake that told him it was Hamuko there behind him with a grin, supporting him like she always did. 

It was things like that made Ken think that maybe, he wasn’t so lonely after all.


End file.
